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Long Dates

What to expect for both parties

· Resources,Dear Clients

A long date is a big financial commitment. A lot of people may not realise this, but sex workers get booked for everything from 15 minutes through to whole weeks - we are not just sexual flings, we are also companions and social escorts. For a client, it is something they don't undertake without thinking seriously about it beforehand; for a sex worker, it is a really large payday, but also a lot of work, both physical and emotional.

For Clients

It's a hell of an investment to book a sex worker for a long date. Whether you are with them for a weekend, a week, or just overnight, you know it's going to be quite a bit of cash. Most of us are willing to negotiate longer periods and heavily discount our hourly rate, but don't expect that every worker will be up for a long date, or have done them before. You are both responsible for making the experience fun and engaging!

Be upfront with what you're after.

Have a really good think about what it is that you want to get out of a long period with a worker. Maybe you're just in town for the working week and you want someone to come home to who will give you a kiss, a shoulder rub, and a good romp between the sheets before letting you vent about your day. Maybe you want a weekend of passion, with stops in between for Netflix and snacks. Whatever it is, make sure you actually think about it! Then tell whoever you're thinking of hiring. If you're after something specific that perhaps not a lot of workers will offer, do not spring it on them after you've made the booking, you may not get what you're after, and you will make your provider annoyed. If you are thinking of something that requires preparation, like costumes or toys, that's something else to think about - she's not psychic, and no one is bringing their whole costume wardrobe and toy collection just in case. If you have any needs the provider has to be aware of - like taking your medication on time, or that you snore like a bear - make sure to let them know as well.

Plan ahead!

You're not going to be banging the whole time! Even if you're under 25, I guarantee you that you don't have that kind of stamina. Think of things to do around the banging to keep everyone entertained, that isn't discussing politics. I'll pop a list at the bottom of this post for you to think about. Planning out every minute of the date isn't necessary (and let me tell you, those emails with a full itinerary and graphic detail are incredibly unsettling, don't be that guy), just a general idea and some options.

Respect their boundaries.

Unless they explicitly say it's okay, do not, I repeat, DO NOT touch them sexually while they are asleep. This is a vulnerable time that they have chosen to trust you with, so please respect that. It is also grossly inappropriate to touch them sexually in public - putting your arm around them is probably fine (ask), but grabbing their butt is really not fine unless they have explicitly said it's okay. If they says they want six hours sleep, even if you can't sleep, leave them alone! If you pester them, they won't want to touch you in the morning - and you don't want the authentic GFE where your girlfriend is tired, really cranky, and frigid as hell because she's pissed at you. Try to stay out of the mindset that just because you have paid a lot of money, you are entitled to whatever you desire, and remember that your worker is human - we want to work with you, that's why we've said yes and come to your place! But we also want to be consulted about things, and have our boundaries respected. I really encourage everyone, including providers, to watch this video about consent; it's really cute and compares it to tea - only 2:50, and you'll get more out of it than you think!

For Providers

Those long bookings are often very much our bread and butter, so we're on our very best behaviour the whole time! But it can get taxing spending a whole weekend, or even a whole week with the same client when your personalities clash just slightly, and you're away from home and missing your bed, your dog, and your slobby trackies with the holes in them. So here are some things to help you get through and have fun!

Make sure the client is clear on your requirements and boundaries.

If you need a minimum number of hours sleep for an overnight booking, make sure you confirm with them. I have a minimum of six, but for bookings of several days, I require eight at least. Many clients won't sleep much during an overnight, because they're excited or whatever, but hold firm to your requirements (unless you're having so much fun you don't want to!). Make sure you've agreed on the booking start and finish times, so as not to have them misunderstood or pushed, and are very clear on the duration and what is and is not included. It's not common that a worker has the entirety of what goes on in their long dates posted on their website, so you can't assume that the client knows what to expect for you! Establish boundaries early on as well for what kind of behaviour you will not accept.

You need to eat!

Something that a lot of clients seem to forget is that we require sustenance as well! They don't mean it, they probably just didn't plan ahead. If your overnight is 12-14 hours, that usually means you're going in at 7pm and leaving at 9am. Most clients will get hungry themselves and offer you something, but some are outrageously selfish and seem to think that you will bring meals with you since they've paid for 12 hours already... Definitely put some snacks in your bag of tricks, but ensure your client knows beforehand that they have to feed you. If you have any dietary needs, tell the client about them and consult the menu of any restaurants you are going to before you get there, to see if they can accommodate. Be aware that if breakfast is offered, you may have the end time fuzzed a little - that's okay as long as you're aware and fine with it! It will often be up to you to initiate when you eat or sleep, because they of course want the most intimate time out of you as they can get (which makes sense, you're hot stuff). Don't let them complain that you're taking time away from them - they are not so special that you are going to be exhausted and lose a day of work from staying up all night with them, unless they plan on compensating you for it.

Plan some activities.

You can't rely on your client to have a plan for long dates. If he has you for the weekend, he probably didn't think too much past "a lot of sex, some eating, and sleep". If you can manage just that between the two of you, that's excellent! But most people will not have that kind of stamina, and will also get bored at some point. Look up some local places to go. If the two of you are a bit leery of going out in public, there are always things you can do at home; but have something planned in case they haven't thought that far ahead. There's a list at the bottom of this post!

Consider your sleeping arrangements.

Many clients kind of expect us to sleep naked, but most of us won't do that for obvious reasons; I don't really like clients touching me sexually in my sleep, so I'll often wear something. I also have nipple piercings that I would prefer don't get ripped out at any time! Consider that they may be comfortable in a different temperature than you're used to, and you might be a little cold or too hot, so prepare accordingly. I would advise against pharmaceutical sleep aids for your own safety, just in case you don't know the client too well, but definitely bring ear plugs and an eye mask to help you get a good night's rest. If you're really pick about your pillows, bring your own.

A practical list of things to take (for outcalls):

Soap/shampoo/conditioner - you can't really count on blokes to have the stuff that your skin and hair will agree with;

Skincare products and make up wipes;

Casual clothing for lounging in and for leaving at the end of the date;

Lip balm;

A bag with with somewhere safe to tuck your money and ID;

Anything you might need to soothe sore lady bits;

Lots more condoms than you think you need;

More lube than you think you need;

Some basic toys and their chargers;

Some kind of massage oil;

Any medication you need for the duration, plus a couple extra just in case;

Ear plugs, eye mask;

Cheap perfume for the bathroom... You know why.

Long Date Activities

Cafés, bars, and restaurants are a great start! If you've chatted enough during the week, both of you bring books and just relax in each other's company.

The zoo or aquarium is really fun, just watch out for school holiday periods.

Some like to go shopping - be aware that expectations of who will be paying for any purchases should be discussed beforehand.

See what's on: comedy shows, live music, theatre performances, sports events, movies, film festivals, museum or gallery exhibitions, pub trivia.

Are you both locals in the city? If one of you isn't, share with the other one of your favourite things to do where you live.

Go and get a pedicure or massage together.

Go for a bushwalk, a walk around a local lake, a walk on the beach. Have a dog? Take them!

Beach, if there is one (*cries in Canberran*).

A local winery, brewery, or distillery - sometimes they have classes!

Ice skating

Video game arcades

Yoga/gym classes

Don't want to be seen in public together for various reasons?

Netflix is amazing! Brings the comedy shows and movies home to you. Just, you know, think about your selection. No Human Centipede or Saw IV. No The Notebook. Avoid things like Spotlight. Watch something funny and lighthearted that won't make you feel like shit afterwards, or completely bored throughout, unless you've both agreed you love the genre.

A scenic drive is great if you have somewhere beautiful to show off.

There are some seriously great tabletop games out there these days. I highly recommend something like Onitama or Munchkin. Go down the rabbit hole of crazy two player tabletop games, because you will be surprised.

Get a masseuse to come to you.

Look up yoga videos online, giggle together at whichever of you is terrible at it (I will challenge anyone to beat me at flexibility).

Try some weird cocktail recipes.

Make baked goods to give to your neighbours as an apology for having sex so loudly.