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Please do not ask. Ever.

· Dear Clients

This blog post has come about due to seeing a few things come across my timelines on Facebook and Twitter; and, funnily enough, while I've been trawling through Crockor's pages for spam ads (yes, we do that). Once again, the usual disclaimer: I'm coming at this from the perspective of a cis female full service sex worker who charges medium-high rates, in Australia. It might be different where you're from - feel free to write your own blog post.

Before I begin, I want to take this opportunity to profusely thank my clients who are aware of the nature of our relationship, and that my rates are firm and it's not a nice thing to do to haggle them or expect more from me than what is given in a normal client-service provider relationship. There really are a lot of you out there, and you make this job so enjoyable; you're the reason I do it. I'm so sorry that this post has to happen, but there are far too many people out there who don't think like you do!

Listen gents, I know you have a high opinion of yourselves, and you think that you're in great bloody shape for your age/job/time poor state/slightly less than healthy diet! You're clean (by your standards; by ours... well, please see this thread by Charlotte Swan on how to shower...), you're well presented, body hair tamed, you smell like a fragrant damn garden, you're a fine specimen of man. But it does not entitle you to a discount. Not now, not next week, not if you are a regular, not ever. Here are some common "reasons" I hear from people who expect me to magnanimously give them, some random man who has never been my client before, a discount.

"I'm a poor university student/store clerk."

I've been there, I have. The neighbourhood I used to live in when I was a poor student was quite frankly dangerous, my house had basically no insulation (I would wake up with a numb face and hands in winter), and I was eating a mix of some uni provided food bank food and groceries. Yeah, it sucked; I did occasionally spend on luxuries like going out for beers with my uni mates, but that was a privilege that didn't happen every weekend. At that point, I absolutely couldn't afford a sex worker; it simply wasn't in my budget to splash out for such luxuries. That's what sex work is: a luxury service. Whether you're talking about $1000 per hour Cleo, or $15 blowjob Sam, sexual services are a luxury and not a need. That fancy restaurant in the city won't give you a discount just because you are poor, neither will Cleo or Sam. It's kind of the height of entitlement to believe you deserve a service just because you want it.

"I'm young/attractive/fit/clean/have a big dick."

Good for you! Genetics has been kind to you, I guess. A lot of that is highly subjective anyway - we did just read that thread on showering, didn't we? Regardless, being pretty doesn't mean you're allowed to have a discount, and it's pretty rude to assume you know what we're attracted to. Fun fact: some escorts who take male clients are lesbians, so your status as a young attractive male has absolutely no meaning, because they find you about as sexually appealing as they would find your grandfather, or next door's cat. The rest of us are varied humans and might be attracted to anything from chubby, femme men, to tall Nordic models, to small South American men, to trans women. You shouldn't assume you're our cup of tea. Size might matter in an escort's personal life, but in bookings lots of us prefer small dicks, because we're much less likely to be injured and unable to work - if anything, we should charge extra for bigger lads. Yeah, many like the big dicks, but again, those assumptions! Being young usually means utterly nothing in the scheme of things, and being fit is the same - congratulations on being what society deems a generally attractive male specimen! Your reward is that you might actually attract more of the demographic that you are into for free; but no discounts from us!

Generally when someone says "I'm clean", they don't mean that they have good hygiene, they're trying to let me know that they are disease free (well, so they think - most of the population doesn't get checked regularly and wouldn't actually know), which in turn means they're usually angling at unprotected services for my regular rate or a discount. I don't offer any, so the joke's on these guys, because they're wasting their own time trying to convince me.

"I'll become your regular."

This one is just a straight up lie, as many escorts know. There has never been an enquiry with this in the body text that has turned into a regular. It's a myth. Also, this isn't Costco; you can't buy in bulk to save money - or, in this case, make false promises that you'll be a bulk buying customer.

"I'll be pleasing you the whole time."

If you know absolutely anything about this industry, it's that you're paying for time, not service, unless specified. If Sammy is charging $15 for a blowjob, that's the service you get; no discounts for playing with their pink bits at the same time. If Cleo is charging you $1000 for an hour of her time, you can do whatever you want in that time (within her limits), but it's still $1000. If you want to muff dive for the whole hour, that's on you. Simply because we are enjoying ourselves, that does not mean you're entitled to a discount. Do you like your job? Do you occasionally have fun? Imagine if your boss said to you, "Oh Jim, since this is pleasing you, I'll just be taking 10% off your paycheck." Not only that, imagine if you kind of weren't into the job, but you put on a happy face, and your boss said that. Not nice, huh?

Another fun fact: lots of escorts are pretty asexual, so they may not actually really be "pleased" by what you're doing, they may be indifferent. But it is their job to make sure you enjoy yourself, so they put on that happy face - I'm terribly sorry to break the illusion! If you're doing something they outright hate or it's hurting, yes, they'll ask you to stop, but they might just be indifferent. You might not be as good at sex as you think you are, or you might just not be to their preference. It doesn't matter really: whether they enjoy what you're doing or not, no discount for you.

The other issue with this is clients trying to frame this as "I'm doing this for you/for your enjoyment". No, you're booking an escort for your own enjoyment - if you get enjoyment out of pleasing someone else, that's what you're paying for. This is not a favour to me, this is me doing my job, and you employing my services. Don't act like I owe you for you deigning to do something that I might enjoy.

"[Another escort] gives me this service at [cheaper price]."

You're not at Bunnings, we don't price match. If Ji Su does an hour for $400, but you want her to match Annie's price of $300... Go to Annie. You won't offend Annie because you're offering her exactly what she asks. Ji Su will be upset with you and will likely ignore your messages, and you won't get any service - well done, now everyone is mad. If this is your strategy, you're obviously the kind of guy who yells at waiters about how "the other restaurant does this special dish for me all the time, and at half the price". This is not a good strategy.

"I have haggled before with escorts, if you don't ask, you don't get."

Alright, Mr. Punter Planet Forum Trawler, congratulations on being the kind of cheap bugger that will haggle with escorts, that wins you zero points with anyone. For every time you've worn some poor person down, please think that you might have only done that because they really need the money, and you've really taken advantage of them. You do not deserve a discount at all if this is your stance - you deserve a surcharge.


"I'm a nice guy."

Cool, that's the bare minimum for a human being, and nice people still pay for things.

I get it: this is an expensive service, and probably not one you can afford regularly if you're on the average wage. There are options for you across the spectrum of affordability, and you can always attempt to procure sex for free by using dating websites if you are so inclined. If you cannot get it for free, that is something you need to examine in your own time. Some cultures and countries are really big on haggling! Australia is not one of those places, and Australian escorts even less so. If you cannot afford one worker's service, please don't ask for a discount, because what you're really saying to them is, "I don't think you're worth the price you have posted, and your carefully considered and thought out pricing structure is basically trash to me; you'll take what I want to pay you." If that's really your attitude, perhaps you might consider that you shouldn't see us, since you don't respect us as independent traders.

We do sometimes run discounts or specials - look out for them! Over Christmas is a popular time for discounts, also Valentine's Day! Ask the escort you like the best if they ever run specials and when those might be, but also be aware that that's a one off rate; if you book them another time, you will be paying full price. Instead of discounts, if I like a client, they might get some extra time. This is not something you should expect - we all have lives, after all, and you can't know if I particularly like you more than my other clients - but it might be a nice reward for being a good regular or a fun client. Some sex workers even have a sliding scale for income and based upon different levels of privilege and ability, in order to make it easier to access sexual services if you're disabled or poorer; they're not easy to find, but they are out there.

You're probably a good bloke in general, but it's not fair to demand a paid service for a discount simply because you believe you shouldn't have to pay the asking price, especially when there are so many other options. You aren't entitled to a woman who is exactly your preference for looks and services at exactly the price you want - you are entitled to what you pay for and nothing more.